Some of you know that I struggle with depression, I make no secret of it. I don’t talk about it much as it is not an easy thing to discuss, and a large portion of society would rather not hear.
Well, for the moment the black dog (depression) is visiting again and I’m struggling, I’m exhausted (for many reasons) and that isn’t helping.
Like many I’m worrying about the economy, keeping a job and a roof over my head as well as paying bills. Also, the UK government is getting worse and worse, with more corruption and bigotry as the days go by, I used to be proud to be british, now I’m ashamed and embarrassed.
Also, things aren’t looking great for my hobby/cottage industry synth building business, Dove Audio. With the lack of chips meaning making product is all but impossible, brexit making exporting expensive and the global recession, people aren’t buying as much. As a result, I have more going out of the business (bank fees, accountants, etc.) than I have coming in, so things aren’t looking good there, which is soul destroying.
The world also seems to be in a rush, everywhere including to the bottom. I mean, building good quality things takes time, yet everyone wants something new now and doesn’t seem to be interested in quality, just speed, which feels very wrong to me. Now I know as you get older your synapses fire slower and so time appears to pass quicker, but that’s not what I see. What I see is people rushing to get something done as quickly and as cheaply as possible and that only leads to poor quality products, stress and burn out.
When did we as a society become so impatient?
Anyway, I am seeing a counsellor, I have been for a few months and we’re working through things, I am sure in time this will work its way out of my system, but I am sure it will return again as it seems quite cyclical.
I am still enjoying walking with my dog Suzi and really enjoying the peace and quiet on our morning treks, no people, no cars (mostly), no computers and no noise (aside from the odd rooster crowing or cow mooing).
Suzi has taken to chasing squirrels, which is fine that’s normal for a dog in my experience, but what is not normal in my experience is that Suzi seems to have a fondness for climbing the trees to get closer to them (picture below).
She’s not yet caught any thankfully, but I think the squirrels get a surprise when they see her up the tree.
Anyway, here is the picture of Suzi up a tree, enjoy.